I couldn't get through the Present Tense and a messy writing.
DNF-ing at 25%. Tagging and rating that part only.
Jace is total cliche, a poor 18 year old, who takes care of his little sister in lieu of his parents. He is also being abused by his i-dont-give-a-fuck, barely there mother and bullied by his classmates.
All the other issues (from the meager 25%) are too numerous to mention. I am afraid I will exceed the page count of the story itself if I decide to list them all.